This is the swirly time of year.
Outside, the weather jumps from 65 degrees and sunny to 30 degrees and snowy. The wind changes directions every 47 seconds, and the recently uncovered dead leaves are pulled from the matted ground and pushed through the air by the whims of the breezes.
Inside, the emotions jump from happy and relieved that summer is quickly approaching to angsty and overwhelmed by all of the Things That Have To Be Done By Then. Mike is packing up to leave until mid-September, my first and second graders are frantically rehearsing for our Spring Musical this week, my yoga students continue to show up ready to move and breathe in community, my feet just want to hike and run through the warmer air, and
usually sometimes… all I want to do is sleep.
I am a product of my environment. I am a product of my external environment almost as much as I am a product of my internal environment. When the pressure builds because the spring storms are on the move, I feel my fuse shortening and my thoughts quickening. When the clouds clear and the sunshine beams down, I am reminded to pause, to breathe, and to be grateful for that subtle yet soul-reaching shift.
If the leaves are at the mercy of the swirling winds, then I am at the mercy of, well, the swirling Kristina. The weather will change, responsibilities and routines will shift as time passes, the metaphorical (and real!) clouds and sunbeams will have their moments, but at the end of the day, I need to remember that I have the power to unswirlify myself.